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Monday, May 03, 2010
Our hero captured and beaten half to death in the torture chamber, still have the guts to spit blood at the face of the enemy! Not sure where to begin. All the words that used to stack up in my head now seems to be sinking down my heart. And the thing is, its much easier to surface the emotions and thoughts that are in your head than that in your heart. The only problem is whatever stays in your heart, stays for a long time and that's why people always complain of living in the past. I admit I'm stuck in the past, but not too far though. Just some months back. What amazes me is that alot of things have change without me having to lift a finger. Sounds good but to live through it, it tears your stable mentality apart! Months of idling and watching the world turn, leaving me behind. And if i don't pick up the pace... eventually I'll be left behind. [nom]... i need a good start. noMm left his thoughts at 04:20 am Comment (1) Permalink *** Wednesday, March 17, 2010
It's another thunder storm, typical of mother nature... trying her every strength to hurl and drench our hero, but life is not about making through the storm... its about how you dance in the rain. So i went to this hair saloon to do my hair for a change, new leaf and shit like that. I don't like to believe all that but spiritually speaking, it eases my view for the days coming. Well so much for a good hair cut, this aunty whom i dont know how she manage to ever become a hair dresser screwed up on the first cut. And she kept saying "Bhai, yo ta laterst fashion ho... sabaai keta haru le garcha ho". I think she must be blind with all my strands of hair slicing her eye balls. I wanted to grab her by the throat and drown her with all the hair dyes lying around that is if she says "Korean" one more time. In the end, had to settle with the second cut and it was all cool (Not really, i'm just saying to have a happy ending xD). Get this, this aunty says i not just look like a Newar but i am. Which everyone knows i'm not a Newar but she kept insisting that i am and i kept disagreeing with her. Its like she was forcing me to admit i am Newar when i'm really NOT. What kind of person does that? I mean what kind of person tries to drag you down to be something your not! Thats bullshit! she's bullshit! this whole saloon is bullshit!... fake smiles and thank yous, never coming back! Let it be, let it be... temper temper. I'm chilled. And now i've to deal with this bike license process. Met this dhala(the middle man who does the troublsome work for you) to fix up my license making process. I need it soon badly or i'll hit paranoia. And now the most important information which i ddint even knew why, delayed everything. My blood type! So i've to go next morning to get my blood sample and analyze in a clinic. I used to be quite a guy with patience now i've become a massive hysteria. Right now main thing get a license and i'll have a peace at mind for a day! arrgh.. i'll end it here. Tomorrow's another day... stop smiling ! ok now you can xD [nom]... i'm not newar! bullshit! noMm left his thoughts at 02:36 am Comment (1) Permalink *** Monday, February 08, 2010
The cape has fallen... our hero swirls down like a fly died out from a spray. You know what i just realize recently, that one of the most painful feeling and the hardest moment to live through everyday is when you realize you are completely at stop, when you can do nothing but sit and watch the world past by. And no matter how much you wanna do something more, you cant... those words will just turn into a cry. I'm never gonna dream again, screw the dreams. Screw all the words trying to motivate me into following my dreams. Fuck that. When you have faced enough moments of shattered dreams and the final one just snaps you to reality to wake up, you just wanna give everything up and let it all swallow you whole. I should have listen to dad and just do what could possibly be done, but no... i had to be the optimistic, i had to be the "big shot"... the "HOPE" and say that "i wanna do the things what i love to do". And now here i am after all those words, I'm stranded unmoved and nothing's accomplished. Talk about time wasted. Fuck whoever said those words, it doesn't goes for everybody. Wake up people! If your situation is not on your favor then don't do it! Here i am, wishing i was somewhere, wishing i was doing something with my life... rather than be obligated to sit and wait. I regret it. Every words that i said, everything that i did. Its always problem after problem... And one more thing, for those out there who's working, studying and struggling... if you start whining about how hard your life is then i wish i could just kill you people. Considering the fact that you don't know whats it like being in my shoe right now. Appreciate where you are, your work,, your education.... cause it beats being able to do nothing. Remember that. [nom]... it just keeps getting longer. noMm left his thoughts at 04:09 am g0t s0mething to say? Permalink *** Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Swirling in the whirlwind, burning courage in the volcano, breaking bones in the terror mountains... our hero strikes back!! So it happens once more, a brick fallen from the skies hitting dreams so fragile. I'm not mad, i'm not depressed nor drowning in my sarrows. Its the third time, how much heartache do you expect me to feel? A strong man are the ones that has a heart of an iron will. In the end we talk all this shits and does it ever matter? Probarly i'm just tired of the same things. Myself to blame? You wish! All those years trying to be different, trying to live different and in the end normality out last me. This world's for the normals and the mundane. I could be wrong but right now it seems to be the only thing that makes sense for now. Maybe there's an island full of unicorns eat normal people existing somewhere. [nom]... You know, there is! noMm left his thoughts at 02:10 am g0t s0mething to say? Permalink *** Tuesday, November 10, 2009
As our hero walks in disarray, scuffling through the sharp glass splinters on the floor. Only to realize they were fragments of broken dreams. Here i sit wondering how many falls it takes to rise above every failure i have had. I wonder again about where i'll be sitting wondering these thoughts in another 10 years. And as the minute ticks by, as the curtains sway by, those years in my thought starts decreasing slowly until i stop caring. To a point where i stop chasing my sketchbooks and finally putting my pen down. I'm tired of being happy for someone else. The thought of being here another year waiting for a path that i'm obligated to follow just stabs me right in my heart. Yet again the pain immenses when i have no path of my own. There it happens again, another dream sharttered and the same feeling years ago becomes a haunting truth. Its not good... never will be. I will follow this river emotionlessly, only this time... its drifting away from my dream. [nom]... this is not home. noMm left his thoughts at 08:42 pm g0t s0mething to say? Permalink *** Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The winter chill consumes the very warmth of hopes that many beings have created with their ideologies and thus darkness blooms once again... I hate this. I hate when my moments are stopped and not paused. I hate the fact that being unable to do anything is the worst feeling. I hate waking up having nothing to look forward to. I hate waking up on a same shit, seeing same faces, talking same craps on a different day. I hate it when my dad have to work after retirement. I hate realizing your better than me. I hate vegetables. I hate trying to make people happy when they want me to. I hate the thought of dying in regret. I hate seeing them in resentment. I hate people who ostracize others. I hate living up to your expectations and yet i hate it more when i fulfill them. I hate dreams with no support. I hate the reality of everything. I hate load shedding. I hate when i cant get more than what i have. I hate the fact im not famous. I hate even more the fact im not rich. I hate waking up every night so suddenly. I hate that im suffering from insomnia. I hate the fact my hearts not strong. I hate the chains on my legs and i hate when i have to chew'em off with my teeth. I hate. I hate seeing my mom cry. I hate the saddness that you bring in this house. I hate wishing upon a star. I hate starless night. I hate when my expressions are frozen cause i know they'll melt in pain. I hate exeggerating my words. I hate that i'm not a millionaire and owning half the world's continent. I hate having no powers. I hate being unable to bleed. I hate watching people cry. I hate when it doesnt rain. I just hate all these hates. [nom]... i'm frazzled. noMm left his thoughts at 02:24 am g0t s0mething to say? Permalink *** Monday, July 27, 2009
A million years have gone by and the only source remains the same is the sun and the moon, perhaps our hero saving another damsel in distress in another day... How do i realize so much time have gone by since i last sat and reminisce with myself? I didnt do it intentionally but my eye caught the faces of my friends' mom and i realize how old they've gotton. Its scary, not what they look like but to realize that same human being right infront who used to talk about her son's behavior and comparing everything about you, have aged so much and starts looking so fragile. Their faces don't change but they feel different, that's what i think. And then i reflected to myself about this matter. Every night i stare at the blank ceiling wondering how much i've come to whatever thats happening right now. Sometimes clueless, other times sad. And of cause all these so called "responsible" thoughts lead to one question to another or perhaps an endless chain of staggering mind blowing series of questions... and among those, one that pops out the most is when i asked myself where i'm going? The answer is not there, it cant be found, cant be created or cant be asked for.. or at least what i think. Its a pain to passively think so much. I don't know the secrets of happiness and the best way to treasure and cherish time and moments, i dont know what lies in true love and in what ways we can create the unbreakable bonds. I dont know how to be a better person or how to make others feel right. I just dont know many things that you could possible ask me. But in the end i do know one thing. i'm both proud to have the things i have and the things i dont have. [nom].. we gotta have fun now, there's only minutes left. noMm left his thoughts at 04:03 am g0t s0mething to say? Permalink *** Friday, June 26, 2009
After a monstrous failed pursuit, our hero finds himself crashed in an alien world... The surroundings are feeling different, the mutuality in the atmosphere is dispersing and people talks are sounding gibberish. Its almost as if the world is turning so alien, change is coming. I sat outside with a coffee and doughnut just staring blank at lives infront. I'm suppose to be looking through the papers but i'm too distracted dreaming space invasion commencing. People are screaming for their lives and being mercilessly evaporated into thin air with death ray vaporizer guns. So sinister yet too awesome to see it in slow motion and i'm there grinning away at other people meseries. No don't get me wrong now, i'm not cold or selfish or critically insane weird to smrk or grin on someone else's fatality. Change is coming, its breeze is howling to let you know its not too far and its coming! They say if you did something different just before the change occurs, it judges your last deed and permantly personalize your character according to the level of your alignment on your last deed. So if you did something good, your freaking good your whole life and if you did something bad, your one badass bastard. But i'm trying not to fall into those two, no not even in the middle. See i'm going for somewhere out from those two... and if your wondering what it is then dont wonder too much. See if you move up above those two, you'll reach the world of insanity. So wreckless and carefree, not a care to the world... emotionally dead but intellectually limitless that defies human scientific behavior. Like people jumping infront of a moving cars in superman costume .But thats not me, i'm going for somewhere below. The underworld of total mystery where strange and the unexplainable dwells in a perpetually twilight zone. Where enigmatic souls dreams of space invasion in broad daylight and thinks its cool to live in igloos. Now i like that, it strains your eye brow and you sub-conciously find it intrigue. Thats the power of being weird. It doesnt have an end or a full stop in speeches, actions are always questioned and judge senselessly, response are always anticipated and its contagious cause people are always wondering those little things and somehow picking up the habit. So its cool to be weird. Now excuse me, the change is coming and i need to be blasting zorks from another planet with my death ray vaporizer from taking over my bedroom. ZAP* ZAP*... [nom].... oh change me weird! noMm left his thoughts at 02:01 am g0t s0mething to say? Permalink *** Saturday, May 23, 2009
The "Hero of the Year" is just a week away and our hero is all frazzled, so disturbed that little infants and young bimbos might reconsider their favourite hero to someone else... My horoscope in Buisness says i will succeed everything today without any effort. Hmmm i dont know, its too good to be true. You can just feel the little paper and the words in it screaming out tiny voices warning what i read to believe. When something is too good to be true they usually are and i can only justify at the end of the day but it will be too late somehow. I look at all the projects involving money to see if success and effortless was on my side, and i realise its too soon to say anything bad or good. I'm sitting on a middle of a see-saw on a verge of falling left or right, thats how i shall put it. Then my Love horoscope says being two faced in love could be dangerous and i should be careful. Something's missing here. "Be careful" of who?.. me or my parthner(lets say i have hypothetically). If its me then i'm quite farmilar with my other face, my eternal emotional depressing alter ego... Nomiephobia. But i dont see anything dangerous in him neither does he seem malevolent except towards chocolate chip cookes and sweet potatoes. But other than that to catagorize Nomiephobia under "malignancy" is clearly the beer talking. Perhaps its the hypothetical parthner of mine, the devil's advocate, the mistress of hell, the succubus on a mission from hell to make my life a reality of sleepless nights and heartaches. Here is a broken man, its recess everywhere but in his heart. God dammit. My Health horoscopes says i'm in need of a good holiday. Well you bet your computerized imprinted words your right. I need to lie down in a jacuzzi, wine and icecream sundae on the reach of my hands. Hot women by my side to keep my lonely nights bliss and good music to drift my sarrows away from my paradise. Filter me well, feed me well, arouse me well, soothe me well... my spirit, mind and body crave for the longing of relaxation from this world that we call "Responsibility". God's tender clouds will unearth my feet and reach me to divinity. And i got all these crap for 5rs at some weight machine. Horoscopes my butt, hard to believe, fun to read... they come and they go everyday but my exaggerating surreal mind will last another 20 years. [nom]... my weight didnt change. god dammit! noMm left his thoughts at 12:27 pm g0t s0mething to say? Permalink *** Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Just when things were looking bad and the curse of Dr.Mundane's forces were on the brink of triumph, our hero unleashes his fury of artistic destruction wiping out the dark forces that aims to bore the city of life!... Ladies and gentle man, tonights public service annoucement 2009 will be skipped however, DreamScar proudly and wickedly annouces the release of their first music toturial magazine "Guitargasm". Its a killer, no filler, it pops your eyes out and crave your addiction maximum till you go all frenzy for a copy! Ah yes dearest homosepians, you are about to witness the change in media history of Nepal, the revolution of magazine has evolve so sinister and we will dominate the industry. Look out WAVE! you're teenage fans are on the bring of religous conversion... the religion of DOUBLE COOLIO thy GUITARGASM! and Rock Fever, dont think we've forgotten you. We'll rubbed your black and white toilet pages on Mr Prachandra's ass so hard he'll probarly whine about to his rebels to death.  24 pages of kickass designs on a quality print paper for just 50rs is a good bargain! So get your's copy today! Haha. I've been waiting for months to have things worked out, no did i say "I"? I mean "WE" ! Now i could just ripped out the freshly sealed plastic covers and slam the magazine right on people's face and demand a contribution of their participation by selling it! I didnt mean to sound bad but i'm intoxicated. Hey its not everyday you see your name on the Editorial Page on your own magazine right? We're getting the rest of the 450 copies tomorrow and start distrubuting to friends to help us spread our monsterous awareness. Due to budget cuts, people have to skip bookstores cause they wont find it there.LOL! Hey we're bunch of guys with big dreams! we're aint made of money! Its sold inperson! So wherever you are and whatever your doing, if you see a smart looking young man or a cute damsel holding out copies, i beseech you to approach and ask for a freshly new copy for yourself! don't forget for your friends and family! And dont harass the lady if your a guy with raging hormones... people find you drop dead queer here. So cheers to life! cheers to our first step! cheers to our creation! and cheers that you bought it! [nom]... i'm keeping this copy in my time capsule. noMm left his thoughts at 05:07 am g0t s0mething to say? Permalink *** |
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- aR+ CrimiNa| - + nom rana + twenty-two + 22 feb 1987 + an artist + nepalese + surrealist + great thinker + walking hope... OUTKITS@hotmail.com 
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